Labor Day Weekend

SO, I went camping last weekend for labor day (because since no one works on labor day, we decided to work on putting up a huge tent and taking it down 2 days later), and it was QUITE the experience. 

Since we were camping for like 2 years (or 3 days. I really couldn't tell the difference) I'm going to break the experience up in pieces for you to better follow my weird, mixed up, out of order way of communicating. 

September 4th:

I was awoken by the smell of me having to leave my room and actually go outside; And it smelled RIPE. Whatever I do from this point until about 6 pm has like nothing to do with camping, so I'm just going to type random words to make it look like I did things. Apple mother crocodile salmon opal tree swing holler Alabama music. And then, it was 6 o'clock, and I had packed, taken a shower, said goodbye to my room, my tv, my internet, my laptop and all of my dreams, and headed out to the car where I had to sit and think about what animals might be living where I was about to be living for the next 2 and a half days.

So we were driving, and driving, and driving until it was 9 pm and the sun had gone down and we have NO IDEA where we are. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS AND RIVERS. I began to think about the beginning of every horror movie ever, and thought about which way I would least like to be killed with an ax/flame thrower/chainsaw. And it was pretty much every way ever. 

Anyways, we finally find where we are supposed to go, and at this point it's almost 10;30 pm and we still have to build a two-story house with an elevator and a pool in the back yard. 

But against all odds, we manage to set everything up in 30 minutes. Maybe it was luck, maybe it was Oprah, maybe it was the local bears helping us out, but we had magically made our house before 11 pm. And then we went to sleep.

September 5th:

I don't know if you all have ever smelled a tent with sweaty shoes inside of it, but I have. And I would not wish that smell upon the guy at Walmart that didn't say hello back to me when I was 5.

But it was quickly forgotten after I smelled the bacon that was cooking outside. If anything could fix any situation, it would be bacon. Bacon is like having a pet pig, but better, because you don't have to deal with the pig making the annoying noises they do. And that is why bacon is here for us. Bacon is your best friend. Bacon is your sunshine on a cloudy day. Bacon is the Paul Simon to Eli McCann.

So I was thoroughly inspired by the bacon to go to the outdoors and see/smell nature.

It was actually quite nice. The neighbor campers had a dog name Scrump that would bark-scream and that was the cherry on top of this wonderful bacon-smelling morning. 

After feasting on the deceased and fried pig, we decided to go to the lake. I was pretty excited to go because water is my friend, but it's the friend I go to when bacon is not around. So we start walking to the lake under the sun that is like 150 degrees. It was great. It made the smell of the wild be even wilder. Finally, we get to the lake, and I am melting. Literally melting. So I jump into the water and that is when I had my first near death experience on this camping trip. A salamander the size of Delaware has began to climb up my leg at an alarming speed. This thing was looking for BLOOD. 

It was like me when I hear food calling me. It was crazy. I begin thrashing around in the water trying to get the hell spawn off of my leg, and I'm pretty sure people thought I was possessed. Kids ran away from me. Dogs started barking at me. Kim and Kanye were looking at me with a judgmental expression on their face. A 6 year old girl named Diana had to DRAG me out of the water. DRAG. After I had explained to the governor of Tennessee why I was freaking out, Diana ran into the water and brought my mortal enemy. And almost let him poison me. 

And I freaked out again.

And then everything went pretty smoothly after that.

Except it started raining when we were cooking lunch. 

It was watery chicken,

It was fine.

September 6th:

I wake up because a moth has flown into my face and decided that It was a good place to park herself (but she was mistaken) and left my tent at the bottom of my shoe. I chow down on some pancakes, and then we decide to take a 3 mile walk to the waterfall and back. Which is cool. I had been there before and climbed it, so I was pumped. But there was one issue. Due to earlier events (that you will learn later) I was INSANELY paranoid of seeing a (for the sake of not wanting to use the word, I am going to call it something else and let you guess what it is) large worm. Like, ridiculously paranoid. I dreamed of it. I was worried it was going to come back with reinforcements. I was HORRIFIED. But, I convinced myself that there were no large worms in the mountains of Tennessee, and I was good to go. So we begin the walk. All was going smoothly. I hadn't seen a large worm, or Freddy the salamander. We get to the falls, I climb it, tame some pictures while trying to be artistic and pretend I'm more adventurous than I am. After chilling at the falls for a while, we decide to walk back to camp because it looks cloudy and we thing it might rain. I jog half way back to camp and leave my parents and sister a little behind me and instead walk with my friend (lets call her Marge). Marge. I am 50 yard away from camp, I can practically feel my mattress from being this close to it. And that's when I see

the large worm. 

And I RUN. I left Marge behind. I was screaming, she was screaming, she started running, we are both scared, but only half of us knew why. Once we get to camp and I am done pouring holy water all over myself and my campsite, Marge finally asks me why we were terrified. I tell her about what I saved her from, she tells me I'm ridiculous and walks away, and I regret leaving my family behind because the only person that hates the large worm more than me, is my mother. She didn't see the large worm. I took that bullet. Again.

And after it rained while we were cooking lunch (again) everything went pretty smoothly.

Except for the fact that Marge's dad (lets call him Ricardo), Ricardo, starts threatening to find a snake and put it in my tent. 

I didn't sleep. I kept a machete with me at all times. I was prepared for WAR.

September 7th: 

Last day of camping. 

PRAISE JESUS, HALLELUJAH!!!

I am dancing around the tent packing my stuff like I'm Cinderella (birds even helped me change my outfit, it was rad), and I am so happy to leave this large worm and bug and Freddy the salamander infested place. I packed all the camping stuff in like 5 minutes. By myself. No help from Oprah or the local bears this time (which I also didn't know about until the last day of camping, that I could've been eaten by a bear). I was basically floating. 

We pile everything into the car, play a game of Skip-Bo (the devil's card game) and say bye to our friends, and I am glowing as I enter the car to leave this death trap of a place.

But all jokes (and exaggerating) aside, I REALLY do love camping. For like a day or 2. The outdoors has so much more to offer than the internet or any video game does. The experiences I had were scary and crazy and ridiculous, but that only made my time there THAT much better. No one else can say a salamander named Freddy tried to kill them. I will take pride in that. 

If you spend most of your time indoors trying to find ways to get more comfortable, make yourself uncomfortable by going outside. You get the best stories and experiences when you're doing something out of your comfort zone (unless it's like streaking or something). 

If you're my age, you'll relate to some things I said here. 

I hope. 

Stay frosty. 

Confusion and Career Choices

So, blogisphere,
I understand that this is a questionable name for a blog and it sounds more like a tumblr URL. but I'm changing my tumblr URL to confusedunicornwhisper as I type this.

Anyways, I chose that name because I am 16 and a Senior in high school which is scary, and confusing and amazing all at once, even thought I'm home schooled, so it's not really a HUGE deal but also it's the BIGGEST DEAL EVER because HOW AM I EVER GOING TO MANAGE TO PUT ON REAL PANTS EVERY DAY AND GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE??!?!?

Anyways, I thought, "Hey, the reason I started this blog is because I am confused and I need to vent, so why not?" Thus, I made the first word of the URL 'confused'.

Now, to explain why I picked Unicorn as my choice of a confused animal, we have to go alllll the way back to last week when I was having lunch with my 19 year old sister and 72 year old grandmother (in case you were curious about their ages) and I was explaining to my grandmother that home schooled kids are a lot like unicorns because no one knows where they are, no one knows what they do, but we know they are somewhere and are being awesome and have majestic hair like that of a unicorn's mane. So we basically are unicorns and you should all be jealous.
So that is why I picked unicorn as my confused animal.

And then the whisper part was just because someone took 'confused unicorn' before I could, so I thought whisper would be a good word to put there, because I once compared my sleeping sister to a unicorn whisper and I just think that's hilarious and you should appreciate my comedy.

Now, more on why I started this blog.
I was at church, and my youth pastor asked for all of the Juniors and Seniors to raise their hands, and I raised mine because I am now a Senior and that's just super weird. At the time, I wasn't really freaking out because I was just raising my hand because I am a Senior and I was asked to do that.
But once I got home, I started thinking about it again, and then I realized that it was my last year to be considered a kid and not a young adult.
And it all went downhill from there.
I realized that I had to apply for a scholarship before November 2nd, and that I had to apply to get into college by spring, and then I had to apply for financial aid and all of these different things flooded into my mind like they are right now as I'm typing this.  

But then one particular thought made all those other ones seem so much smaller then they did 2 seconds earlier.
"What career am I going to choose?"
When I thought about it, I realized that I don't have much time left to decide. I remember a few months ago I was telling my sister that I didn't really worry about picking a major because I still had so much time left to choose because I was just a Junior but now I'm a SENIOR.
And not having a lot of time left terrifies me.
Am I going to pick a career that makes me feel tired ALL THE TIME? Am I going to pick a career that gets in the way of me spending time with my friends and family? Am I going to pick a career that can't support me financially? Am I going to pick a career that I hate? These are only a few of the things I thought about in that moment.

It's like standing in front of all of my favorite candies and being told that I can only pick ONE and that I have to eat the same candy over and over again for the rest of my life.
And that really sucks when I've liked having hundreds of options for such a long time. I'm pretty sure I've heard someone say the same thing about getting married.
I love so many things like art, photography, design, music, acting, writing, giving advice and making sarcastic comments (but if I could make a career out of that one, I wouldn't be having this panic attack or making this blog). But I've never really thought about picking just ONE to live off of. I know I could do all of those things as a hobby, but what if I pick the wrong one and end up with the career I REALLY would love as a hobby?

So, to sum up why I made this blog: It's midnight, I'm freaking out, everyone I could talk to is asleep, I need to vent and WiFi exists. So here I am.
I also wanted to make a blog documenting my experience in my senior year of high school because, like I said earlier, it's my last year to be a kid. And since I know that, I can take advantage of it. I think writing my thoughts is a good way to sort them out (even though this post is a mess). Also, if anyone reads this and has some advice or anything, it is MORE than welcome. The advice is a huge reason of why I came here.

So that's the end of today's post, but I hope I'll remember to post at least once or twice a week.

Stay frosty.