Confusion and Career Choices

So, blogisphere,
I understand that this is a questionable name for a blog and it sounds more like a tumblr URL. but I'm changing my tumblr URL to confusedunicornwhisper as I type this.

Anyways, I chose that name because I am 16 and a Senior in high school which is scary, and confusing and amazing all at once, even thought I'm home schooled, so it's not really a HUGE deal but also it's the BIGGEST DEAL EVER because HOW AM I EVER GOING TO MANAGE TO PUT ON REAL PANTS EVERY DAY AND GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO PEOPLE??!?!?

Anyways, I thought, "Hey, the reason I started this blog is because I am confused and I need to vent, so why not?" Thus, I made the first word of the URL 'confused'.

Now, to explain why I picked Unicorn as my choice of a confused animal, we have to go alllll the way back to last week when I was having lunch with my 19 year old sister and 72 year old grandmother (in case you were curious about their ages) and I was explaining to my grandmother that home schooled kids are a lot like unicorns because no one knows where they are, no one knows what they do, but we know they are somewhere and are being awesome and have majestic hair like that of a unicorn's mane. So we basically are unicorns and you should all be jealous.
So that is why I picked unicorn as my confused animal.

And then the whisper part was just because someone took 'confused unicorn' before I could, so I thought whisper would be a good word to put there, because I once compared my sleeping sister to a unicorn whisper and I just think that's hilarious and you should appreciate my comedy.

Now, more on why I started this blog.
I was at church, and my youth pastor asked for all of the Juniors and Seniors to raise their hands, and I raised mine because I am now a Senior and that's just super weird. At the time, I wasn't really freaking out because I was just raising my hand because I am a Senior and I was asked to do that.
But once I got home, I started thinking about it again, and then I realized that it was my last year to be considered a kid and not a young adult.
And it all went downhill from there.
I realized that I had to apply for a scholarship before November 2nd, and that I had to apply to get into college by spring, and then I had to apply for financial aid and all of these different things flooded into my mind like they are right now as I'm typing this.  

But then one particular thought made all those other ones seem so much smaller then they did 2 seconds earlier.
"What career am I going to choose?"
When I thought about it, I realized that I don't have much time left to decide. I remember a few months ago I was telling my sister that I didn't really worry about picking a major because I still had so much time left to choose because I was just a Junior but now I'm a SENIOR.
And not having a lot of time left terrifies me.
Am I going to pick a career that makes me feel tired ALL THE TIME? Am I going to pick a career that gets in the way of me spending time with my friends and family? Am I going to pick a career that can't support me financially? Am I going to pick a career that I hate? These are only a few of the things I thought about in that moment.

It's like standing in front of all of my favorite candies and being told that I can only pick ONE and that I have to eat the same candy over and over again for the rest of my life.
And that really sucks when I've liked having hundreds of options for such a long time. I'm pretty sure I've heard someone say the same thing about getting married.
I love so many things like art, photography, design, music, acting, writing, giving advice and making sarcastic comments (but if I could make a career out of that one, I wouldn't be having this panic attack or making this blog). But I've never really thought about picking just ONE to live off of. I know I could do all of those things as a hobby, but what if I pick the wrong one and end up with the career I REALLY would love as a hobby?

So, to sum up why I made this blog: It's midnight, I'm freaking out, everyone I could talk to is asleep, I need to vent and WiFi exists. So here I am.
I also wanted to make a blog documenting my experience in my senior year of high school because, like I said earlier, it's my last year to be a kid. And since I know that, I can take advantage of it. I think writing my thoughts is a good way to sort them out (even though this post is a mess). Also, if anyone reads this and has some advice or anything, it is MORE than welcome. The advice is a huge reason of why I came here.

So that's the end of today's post, but I hope I'll remember to post at least once or twice a week.

Stay frosty.